An online video sketch show,“Diaosi Man”, shown on Sohu.com, an internet portal, mercilessly mocks thetribe. Since its debut in 2012, the show’s episodes have been streamed morethan 1.5 billion times. In one recent episode a man tries to impress hisbeautiful dinner date with how busy he is at his job. He then receives a phonecall from work, apologetically takes his leave to go to the office and finally pops up again as a waiterwhen his date asks forthe bill. In the same episode a frustrated new driver curses repeatedly at aLamborghini in the next lane and screams, “Are you bullying me because I don’tknow any traffic cops?” In the next scene he is in a neck brace and his nose isbroken.

在搜狐网上播出的网络短剧“屌丝男士”，无情地嘲讽了这一群体。自2012年开播以来，它收获了超过15亿次的点击量。在最近一集中，男主试图要给他的漂亮约会对象留下他工作忙碌的印象。约会时他接到一通工作电话后，满怀歉意地告别女孩去办公室，当女孩结帐时却发现服务员正是那男孩。在同一集里，一个失落的新司机不断咒骂着旁边道上的兰博基尼，他喊道，“你欺侮我是因为我一个交警也不认识吗？”下一个场景中，他脖子上安着颈托、鼻子被打破了。

Mr Zhu says what makes him a diaosi is that he is the sonof factory workers. He is not fu er dai—second-generation rich—or guan erdai—the son of powerful government officials (it does not escape a diaosi’snotice that those two categories often overlap). He and his diaosi colleaguesfeel that, with connections or cash, they might have attended a better university and found abetter job.朱先生说，由于父母是工厂工人，他只能是屌丝。他不是富二代或是官二代（屌丝们注意到这两个群体常是重合的）。朱先生与他的屌丝同伴们认为，因为有更好的关系或金钱，富二代和官二代能够上更好的大学，找到更好的工作。

With after-tax income of nearly $8,000 a year, Mr Zhuwould look to manypeople in China comfortably on his way to the middle class. He is among thelower wage-earners at Zhangjiang Hi-Tech Park in Shanghai, but even many higherearners call themselves diaosi, or refer to themselves as “IT labourers”.Though their salaries are above average even in Shanghai—which had China’sthird-highest annual urbandisposable income per person in 2012 at 40,000 yuan—the cost ofappearing successful is stratospheric.A fancy flat and a cool car are well beyond their reach. They are wage slaves who cannot hope to be gao fushuai—tall, rich and handsome—and marry a woman who is bai fu mei—fair-skinned,rich and beautiful. 在中国许多人看来，税后年收入约为8000美元的朱先生正舒服地进入中产阶级。他属于上海张江高科技工业园里收入较低的工薪族，但这里即使收入高出很多的高薪人群也自称屌丝，或自嘲为“IT民工”。因为在上海，这个全国第三富裕的城市—2012年城镇人均可支配收入是4万元，即使他们的工资高出平均水平，可跻身成功阶层的价码高得咋舌。一套高档公寓和一辆好车远远超出他们的能力。他们是工资奴隶，没有希望成为高富帅，娶不上白富美。

This might seem quite normal for a rapidly developingeconomy. But Zhang Yi, a sociologist at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences,a government think-tank in Beijing, says this diaosi feeling of relative deprivation is atroubling consequence of China’s growing wealth gap. In an interview devoted tothe subject for the website of Phoenix Television, a Hong Kong satellitenetwork, Mr Zhang concluded that people at the bottom feel utterly alienated.They feel less hopeful than they did before of ever moving up in life, he said.这对一个快速发展的经济来说也许很正常。但中国社科院（设在北京的政府智囊团）的一位社会学家，张易，称屌丝们内心的相对剥夺感是中国财富鸿沟不断扩大的令人担忧的后果。在凤凰卫视（一档香港的卫星网络）网站上一个以此为主题的访谈中，张先生总结，处于社会底层的人群感到被彻底的抛弃了，他们感觉相比以前，现在社会的上升流动的希望更渺茫了。

In spite of this, however, they do still represent amarketing opportunity. There are, after all, many more of them than there aremillionaires, even though it can be difficult to define the target market. AtDianping, a website offering restaurant reviews and consumer deals, Schubert You targets very low-wage workersin smaller cities (earning about $150 to $450 a month) with coupons and groupdiscounts. Mr You does not consider the IT workers of Shanghai and Beijing tobe true diaosi.

尽管如此，屌丝们依然意味着一个营销机会。毕竟，他们要远多于百万富翁的数量，但要定义目标市场可不容易。在大众点评网（一个提供餐厅点评和消费者交易的网站），舒伯特·尤先生目标直指较小城市的低收入者，即月收入为150-450美元的工薪族，为他们提供优惠券和团购折扣。尤先生认为上海和北京的IT从业者并不能算作屌丝。

But surveys show they believe they are. Last yearAnalysys International, a research company in Beijing, asked a broad cross-section of officeworkers if they saw themselves as diaosi. More than 90% of programmers andjournalists and about 80% of food and service industry and marketing workerssaid they did. Those surveyed who least identified with being losers were civilservants, working for the government or the Communist Party.

但调查显示，他们自认为自己是屌丝。去年，一家北京的调研公司，易观国际，对多个行业的白领展开调查，询问他们是否自认为是屌丝。结果，超出90%的程序员和记者、80%的食品及服务工业和市场人员给予肯定答复。调查中最少认为自己是屌丝的群体是公务员，包括为政府或党内工作的。

24、The Upside Of 'MarryingDown'

下嫁的好处

Today, a successfulsingle woman who falls fora man making less money than she does or not sharing her career ambition mayface not-so-subtle disapproval from friends and family. One patient of minereported being told, 'I'm surprised you haven't found someone who is more yourequal.' Another felt insulted when a trusted friend asked, 'Are you sure youwouldn't be happier with a man who is making more money than you?'今天，一位成功的单身女性如果爱上一位赚钱比自己少的男人，或是不能与她分享事业雄心的男人，可能要面对亲朋好友的明确反对。我的一位患者据称曾被这样告知：“你没找一位与你更相称的男人，让我很惊讶。”另一位曾被她信任的好友问到：“你确定你跟一位挣得比你多的男人在一起不会更幸福吗？”这问题让她感觉很受辱。

These women were in love with solid, supportive guys whoshared their values -- men who weren't driven by money. They dreaded theconcerned whispers from friends or family who persisted in believing that theywere 'marrying down.'这些女人爱上的男人是这样的，他可靠、能够给自己支持、拥有共同的价值观、并且他不是因为钱而爱她。这些女人惧怕来自亲朋们关切的私语，因为这些亲朋们坚信她们是在“下嫁”。

As a couples therapist, the notion of marrying downstrikes me as impossibly antiquated. It's right out of the 'Downton Abbey' era,when suitable marriages were entirely a matter of matching people according tosocial class and fortune -- hence the panic when Lord Grantham's youngestdaughter marries the family's Irish chauffeur.作为一名婚姻治疗师，下嫁这个过时的说法让我难以置信。那简直是《唐顿庄园》(Downton Abbey)时代的产物。那时，合适的婚姻完全是根据双方的社会地位和财富而相配对的——因此，格兰瑟姆勋爵(Lord Grantham)会因为小女儿嫁给了家里的爱尔兰司机而痛苦不已。

The notion that women should 'marry up' endured well pastthe heyday of the English gentry, and the most successful breadwinners wereconsidered the most desirable mates. Well into the 20th century, relatively fewhigh-paying jobs were available to women, so for the most part, women went tocollege to get their M.R.S.,or maybe to land the kind of work that would put them near the rightprofessional men.女人应该“攀高而嫁”的观念在经历了英国绅士贵族全盛时期后依然持续着，最成功的养家者被认为是最合意的配偶。进入20世纪后，只有相对较少的高薪工作招聘女性，所以大部分的女性进入大学只是好去嫁人，或者找一份可以帮其接近合适的专业男人的工作。

Today, more women than men are graduating from collegeand graduate school. Pew Research, which has been compiling data on the topicover the past 50 years, reports that for the first time, 'the share of couplesin which the wife is the one 'marrying down' educationally is higher than thosein which the husband has more education.' In 2012, the report notes, 27% of newlywed women married aspouse with less education, while only 15% of newlywed men did the same.今天，从大学和研究生院毕业的女性数量已超过了男性。皮尤研究所编制了过去50年的与该主题相关的数据，结果显示，50年来第一次，女性在教育程度上“下嫁”给男性的占比高出了婚姻中男性是受教育程度高的一方的比例。2012年时，报告显示，27%的新婚妇女嫁给了受教育程度低于自己的男性，而只有15%的新婚男子娶了学历比自己低的伴侣。

 “More education doesn'tnecessarily lead to greater earning power, but in most U.S. cities, single,childless women under 30 now make more money than their male peers, accordingto analysis by Reach Advisors, a research firm. Across all social classes,women contribute 47% of household income, reports the Carsey Institute at theUniversity of New Hamps hire. And most strikingly, Pew has found that in 24% ofmarriages, women earn more than their husbands, up from 6.2% in 1960.

受教育更多并不一定意味着赚钱能力更多，但根据一家研究机构Reach Advisors的研究表明，在美国的多数城市中，30岁以下的单身无子的女性如今更比同龄的男性赚钱更多。新罕布什尔大学的卡西学院的研究报告显示，在所有社会阶层里，女性贡献了47%的家庭收入。而最引人注目的是，皮尤公司发现，24%的婚姻中女性比其丈夫赚钱更多，在1960年时，这个数字是仅是6.2%。

For most strong, successful women, the alpha male of old isn'tthe best match. I have seen in my practice what happens when two dominantpersonalities engage in power struggles: The alpha male will assume that hispriorities should dominate, while the alpha woman will assert hers. These arethe most difficult duos to treat.对多数强势的成功女性，年长些的大男子主义的男人并非最佳选择。在婚姻咨询业务中，我见过双方都是支配型人格陷入了家庭中控制权的争夺时会发生什么：：强势丈夫将认为他优先考虑的事应该占主导地位，而大女子主义的妻子则会坚持她自己的考量。这样的夫妻问题是最难解决的。

Over the past 30 years, says Stephanie Coontz, directorof public education at the Council on Contemporary Families at the Universityof Chicago, 'egalitarian values have become increasingly important torelationship success.' Confident, dominant women need collaborative partnersmore than they need traditional breadwinners. They need men who aren'tthreatened by their strength and will support their goals.现代家庭理事会的公共教育主管Stephanie Coontz称，过去30多年，男女平等的价值观对一份成功的关系而言已经变得越来越重要。相较传统的负担家计者，自信而强势的女性更多需要的是愿意协作的伴侣。她们需要的男性不会对妻子能力产生胁迫感，并且可以支持妻子的目标。

These men are secure enough to follow as well as lead.They value partnership, parenting and pulling their own weight. They work butaren't workaholics. The problem is family members and friends who sometimesdevalue such men because they don't adhere to traditional standards of masculinity -- standards thatshould no longer apply.这些男人有十足的安全感，既可以领导别人也可以跟从。他们看重伴侣关系和养育子女的职责，并且愿意尽到自己的责任。他们也工作，但并非工作狂。问题是家庭成员和朋友们有时会看低这种男人，因为他们不符合传统的男性气概的标准，——这种标准不该再适用于今天。

What high-achieving women need are men strong enough tosupport their achievements, contribute to the household in services and/ormoney, and be loving partners. A strong woman will reap the benefit of thiskind of respectful, responsible beta man; he will be more flexible, morenurturing and more willing to share the responsibilities of family life.高建树的女性需要的是足够强大的男人，能支持她们的事业，并对家庭贡献服务和（或者是）金钱，而且是位充满爱意的伴侣。一个强大的女人将会从这种尊敬他人、有责任心的“小男人”那里获益菲浅。这样的男人会是更为温柔、更能滋养女人、且更有分享家庭生活责任的意愿。

Attitudes are slowly changing. According to Pew, only 28%of respondents agreed that it is 'generally better for a marriage if thehusband earns more than the wife.' But we still have a long way to go:Economists at the University of Chicago School of Business found in 2013 thatwomen are leery of making more than their husbands do and may even choose tostay out of the workplace if they think they're in danger of earning more thantheir husbands.人们的态度正在逐渐转变。根据皮尤的调查，只有28%的调查对象同意丈夫赚得多会对家庭更好。但我们仅有很长的路要走：芝加哥商学院的经济学家在2013年发现，比丈夫赚钱更多的女性很机警，如果她们发觉比丈夫赚更多钱让她们处于不利境地，她们甚至会因此选择退出职场。