哪有，练习中，，，，，

Whatshould we teach our kids about money?

Mychildren haven't quite figured out money yet, which makes sense. The eldest ofthe three is only four years old.

我的孩子们对钱还没多少概念，这也能说的过去，三个孩子中最大的一个才仅4岁。

Theolder two have little banks that they use to stash cash from relatives, andthey recently took a trip to the toy aisle of Wal-Mart (WMT) with theirgrandmother. They saw what they could get by pooling the fives she gave themfor Valentine's Day. And so, someday soon, their father and I will need tostart talking with them about money. And we need to get our story straight.

两个大些的孩子有点小积蓄，就是亲戚们给的钱存着。最近他们的奶奶带他们去了趟沃尔玛的玩具区。奶奶因为情人节各给他们5块钱，他们就想看看把这些钱集中起来能买到什么。因此，我和他们爸爸需要尽快开始与他们谈谈金钱。并且我们还得谈得清楚点。

Ican't say I'm looking forward to these discussions. Even though I've spent thepast few years writing about money, I still find this a fraught question. Myfirst thought was that I want my kids to "know the value of a dollar"-- to appreciate money in the same way their father and I do. Who knows whatgales our economy will face in the next decades? I should teach them to squirrelaway each dollar so they can hunker away from the wind at the door.

我不能说我对这个讨论抱有太多期望。尽管我已经在过去些年一直在写有关钱的文章，但我仍觉得这是个挠头的问题。我的第一个想法是我想让我的孩子们知道“每一元美元的价值”，就是像我和他们爸爸一样去珍惜金钱。谁能知道在未来几十年我们的经济会遇到什么风暴呢？我应该教会他们储存每一块钱，这样在风暴来临时他们可以安全避开。

Butthe more I pondered this, the more I realized that, not only is teachingsquirrel behavior impossible, I'm not sure it's desirable to pass along all mymoney attitudes. In an uncertain world, I'm hoping I can teach my kids to thinkin terms of abundance alongside the usual money worry -- that there's neverenough. I want to teach them to be smart, not wasteful or tight, and all thissuggests a tough line to walk with my little ones.但我越想越觉得不仅是教给他们储存的习惯这不太可能，我还不确定让他们沿袭所有我对钱的态度是否是个好主意。在这个不确定的世界中，我希望我能教给我的孩子们这样的观念：钱是很充裕的，同时也抱有对金钱的危机感：钱永远不够。我想要教育他们聪明的用钱，既不浪费也不吝啬，但这些分寸把握之微妙，很难和孩子们讲清楚并让他们付诸实践。

When Ifirst started looking into the topic of kids and money, I assumed that theremust be lots of research on allowances, financial education, and the like. Childrearingisn't a new phenomenon. But as veteran parents have likely discovered, thereare many gurus touting different theories, and many of these ideas aren't basedon any research at all.

当我第一次开始查看有关孩子与金钱的题目时，我以为一定有很多关于零用钱、情商教育等的研究，抚养教育孩子并非一件新事。但就像老手父母们可能已经发现了，专家们宣扬着不同的理论，而许多理念压根没作任何研究。

In terms of what's been published in peer-reviewed journals, it looks like giving anallowance that's conditional on chores seems to work best, but not giving anallowance at all has a lotgoing for it too.

按照同行评议的杂志是所刊登的，似乎在做家务的条件下给零用钱是最好的办法，但不给零用钱也很普遍。

Thoughthe theories varied, all the gurus talk of the importance of conveying yourmoney philosophy to your kids.

Thisis where I hit a roughpatch. What is my money philosophy?尽管理论不同，所有的专家都在说将父辈的金钱理念传输给小孩的重要性。我的难关就在这里，我的金钱观是什么呢？

I knowwhere my "knowing the value of a dollar" mindset came from. I wasborn into a coupon-clippinghousehold. My parents eventuallydid quite well, but growing up, I felt there was a reason I needed to wait forChristmas and birthdays if I wanted something. No one was sending me to Africa to volunteer so I could write a college essayabout it; I wrote my college essays in the parking lot of Fazoli's Italian restaurant on my15-minute "smoke" breaks. Standing on your feet all day in exchangefor sub-$5/hourpaychecks will give you a healthyrespect for exactly what it can take to earn a buck.

我知道我的“知晓每一块美元的价值”这一观念的来源。我出生于一个常常使用超市折扣券购买东西的家庭。我父母我的父母后来生活得不错，但在成长过程中，我发现如果我想要什么东西，我要等到生日或圣诞节时。没人送我到非洲作志愿兵，所以我的大学论文也不是关于此。我的大学论文都是在打工的fazoli意式餐厅的停车场写的，而且是利用我的15分钟的暂休时间。打工站一天赚着低于每小时5块钱的工资，会让人对获取每一块钱所需付出的代价心怀敬意。

Fast-forward15 years. Thankfully, I have moved beyond the garlic butter ladling days. I feel incrediblylucky for the life I can give my children. But when it comes to kids and money,a certain amount ofcomfort can muddle everything up.

15年后的今天，谢天谢地，我终于可以脱离整日抹大蒜黄油的日子了。对我现在能给我的孩子们提供的生活我感到极其幸运。但一旦谈到孩子与金钱，良好的自我感觉会将事情弄糟。

When Iwas at Barnes & Noble with my eldest child one Saturday not long ago, hefound a display of wooden Thomas & Friends toy trains and asked me for onethat he was missing from his collection. Despite the $21.99 price tag, Icomplied. Then, having bought Gordon the Express Engine in haste, I repented atleisure, fretting that I was spoiling my child. He wouldn't know the value of adollar! That train would have taken five hours of breadstick buttering atFazoli's to earn.

不久前的一个周六，我和最大的孩子去了Barnes & Noble，他看到了木头的Thomas &Friends的玩具火车的展品，他要我给他买一个，因为他的收藏中缺了其中的一个。尽管标价是21.99元，我还是应许了。然后很快地买上了gordon快列（Gordonthe Express Engine），但过后，闲下来想起这件事时，我担心我在溺爱孩子。他不会明白一美元的价值！那个玩具火车搁过去足足要我在Fazoli餐厅干5个小时抺面包黄油的工作才能赚来。

Then Iremembered that my husband, brother, and I had spent much more than $21.99 ondrinks the night before, because we were having fun. Why can't my kid have hisfun, too?

然后我想起就在前一天晚上我丈夫、兄弟、我三人光买酒就花了远多于21.99块美元，因为当时我们很开心。那为什么我的孩子就不能也去得到他的乐趣？

正在学习中，练习，呵呵

Thehard truth is that unless I'm willing to impose austerity on all of us -- an austerity we haveworked hard to avoid -- there is just no way to teach my kids the same flintiness that oncemanifested itself in my boiling chicken bones to make soup stock to save the$1.50 a can. If I now buy name brand Ziploc bags, my kids will learn to buyZiploc bags, rather than the generickind.

一个令人难过的事实是，除非我将节衣缩食推行给我们每个家人，（我们努力工作不正是想避免过这种节衣缩食的生活么），否则根本没办法教给我的孩子们学会节俭，就像我当年自已煮鸡骨头来作高汤，以此节省花1.5美元买成品罐头。如果我现在买品牌Ziploc的保鲜袋，我的孩子们将来也会买这个牌子，而不会选普通种类的保鲜袋。

Butthat's not all bad, because I'm not sure that my temperamental cheapness is as noble a trait,overall, as much personal finance literature makes it out to be. It has itsupside: I've never had any debt beyond a mortgage. But it has its downsides,too. I give less generously than I would like, to charity and with gifts.

但那也不全是坏事，因为我不确定我的节俭是算作一种优良品性呢，还是因为我看多了个人理财的书。它有其好的一面，我除了房贷再没有其它债务。但也有消极的一面，我给慈善捐款和赠人礼物时还是不够大方。

I put off hiring as muchchildcare as we needed, because it was expensive, but that made it harder tobuild my career, and put a lot of strain on my marriage. I have been reluctantto invest in the business side of my work, by hiring assistants or paying forpublicity, because I tell myself I could "save" money by doing itmyself. Except then it gets done badly or (more often) doesn't get done.

因为照看小孩的费用不菲，雇人来照看的事被我一拖再拖，而这使我更难投入到我的事业中，而且给我的家庭也带来了许多紧张。我的工作的商务方面我也曾很不情愿去投资，比如雇些助手或投放广告，因为我告诉自己我可以自己来做，这样省钱。可是有时事情完成得很差，或者（更常见的是）事情根本没做。

 

I wantto teach my children that frugality is not a virtue in its own right, divorced from any larger goal. Money is powerfulnot because of anything inherent in these numbers, but because of what it cando. Sometimes we have to take risks, and sometimes we should invest in thingsthat matter.我想教给我的孩子们，如不是为实现更大的目标，节俭本身并非美德。钱具有强大力量并非在于那些数目，而是因为它所能做到的事。有时我们不得不冒些风险，有时我们面对重要的事情就应该投资。

 

Thatcan include the happiness of our children. I'm not sure what forces will shapethe economy they'll eventually work in. You have to plan for the future, but ifthe future is unknowable, there is something to be said for enjoying today aswell. I'm trying to figure out the right balance between squirreling andprofligacy -- that magic point where money is stripped of the drama, andbecomes a tool for building the lives we want. Too bad that's hard to teach inthe toy aisle.

重要的事情中也包括孩子们的快乐。我不确定将来他们工作的时候，决定经济的因素是什么。你不得不为未来作打算，但如果未来是未知的，那也还要享受现在。我在试着找到介于节省与挥霍间的适当平衡，在这个平衡点上，使金钱褪去浮华，而成为一个建设我们想要的生活的工具。可惜，在玩具区给孩子们教这个可够难的。

，我也在练习中，，，，这样我都要不好意思了，，，，

我也在练习中，，，，这样我都要不好意思了，，，， 

Poor parent-childbonding 'hampers learning'亲子关系不好阻碍学习

The emotional bond achild secures with its parents has a greater impact on its education thanpreviously thought, a report suggests.

萨顿信托基金会（The Sutton Trust）的一份报告指出，孩童与其父母的亲子感情在其受教育学习上比之前认为的更有影响。

The Sutton Trust studysays children's early attachmentto parents has far-reaching consequences for their ability to speak, learn andthink.

萨顿信托的研究称，孩童早期对父母的依恋会对以后他们的谈话、学习和思考能力产生深远影响

研究发现，婴幼儿与父母的亲子关系会对他们日后的读、写以及思辨能力产生深远影响

Parents who areinsecure themselves find it harder to provide children with security, it says.没有安全感的父母对孩子也难以给予关怀

And the report callsfor more help so parents can develop such crucial bonds.报告呼吁更多的关注，以使做父母的可以提高亲子关系这一重要的联结。

The study focuses onthe application of the theory of attachment - a key theory in child developmentand psychology.这项研究采用依恋理论的应用，——这是儿童成长与心理学领域的一个关键理论。

This says the degree towhich children are secure and resilient as they grow up depends on their ownearly experiences with their mothers and fathers and how they have bonded.理论称随着儿童长大，他们拥有安全感与积极心态的程度取决于他们小时与父母在一起的经历和所建立的亲子关系。

But the report from theSutton Trust education charity, entitled Baby Bonds, makes the case that it hasan important impact on children's future educational chances as well as theiremotional well-being. 但英国慈善教育机构萨顿信托基金会在题为《婴儿的情感纽带》报告中指出，有这样的案例，亲子联结在孩童的未来教育机会以及他们的情感幸福方面有着极大的影响力。

It is based on ananalysis of more than 100 studies on the issue, including home visits andassessments and observations of children in a range of countries. 该结论是基于对100多份此议题的研究所作的分析得出的，其中包括对多国家的儿童进行家庭访谈、行为评估和观察。

The trust argues thatalthough psychologists have been aware of attachment theory, it has not beenseen by policy makers as a key influence on educational attainment. And it asksthem to take this into account.研究人员认为，尽管心理学家已经知悉了依恋理论，但政策制定者们还未认识到亲子关系会对受教育程度起到重要作用。希望政策制定者能对此加以考虑。

The report says whenbabies and toddlers do not form these strong parental bonds - known as secureattachment - they are more likely to exhibit poor language and poor behaviourbefore they reach school.

报告称如果婴幼儿没有与其父母形成坚固的亲子联结，即缺乏安全型依附，会在其上学前，其语言和行为能力表现会差些。

And it citesinternational studies which suggest this continues late into life, withinsecure children more likely to leave school early or duck out of employmentor training.同时报告引用国际上的的研究称，没有安全感的孩童在日后更有可能早辍学或是逃避就业与培训。

They are also morelikely to suffer from aggression, defiance and hyperactivity later in life. 这些孩子长大后还可能更叛逆，更有攻击性，更加多动。

The Sutton Trust saysits analysis of the research suggests that about 40% of children in the UK lacka secure attachment with their parents.萨顿信托称其对研究作的分析表明，英国约40%的孩童无法从其父母处获得安全感。

Lead author Sophie Moullin said that when her team looked at largescale representative studies in a number of countries they all found, fromtheir observations,that between 38% and 42% of children suffered from poorattachment in all the different study locations.

带头人Sophie Moullin表示她所在的小组从全球的案例中选用了许多有代表性个案。通过观察发现全世界大约有38%到42%的孩子与父母的关系很疏远。

多给建议哈，，一起学习吧

She added: "Secureattachment really helps children with emotional and social development and at schoolit really helps them to manage their behaviour. These are the things thatteachers will tell you that are stopping children from learning.

"It's really onlyas we understand more about these behaviour problems that we have decided thata lot of it goes back to this early bonding with parents."她补充到：安全感起到帮助孩子保持好心态与社交力，入学后也帮助他们能管理自己的行为。这些是将来老师们会告诉你的使小孩不肯学习的原因。只有当我们真正对儿童不良行为问题理解更多时，我们才可以确定大量的问题追根溯源，都是早期不良亲子关系的问题。

 

Research director atthe trust Conor Ryan said: "Better bonding betweenparents and babies could lead to more social mobility, as there is such a clearlink to education, behaviour and future employment.

"The educationaldivide emerges early in life, with a 19-month school readiness gap between themost and least advantaged children by the age of five.信托的研究主任Conor Ryan称，“良好的亲子关系与未来孩子的学习、行为规范和工作的关系极大，可以帮助提高社会阶层的流动转变。”“孩子学习能力的差距在人生早期时就会显现出来，到5岁时，学习最好的与最次的大约相差19个月龄的学习能力。”

 

"This reportclearly identifies the fundamental role secure attachment could have innarrowing that school readiness gap and improving children's life chances.

"More support fromhealth visitors, children's centres and local authorities in helping parentsimprove how they bond with young children could play a role in narrowing theeducation gap."

“这份报告清晰地表明，安全感依附的决定性作用，既能缩小孩子们入学后的学习能力的差距，也能扩大其以后人生的发展机会。”“卫生访视员，儿童中心和地方当局给予了更多的支持，要帮助父母们建立与孩子们的更好亲子关系，从而缩小以后的学习能力的差距”

WhyMom's Time Is Different From Dad's Time为啥妈妈与爸爸的时间感不同

Severalyears ago, while observing a parentinggroup in Minnesota,I was struck by a confession one of the women made to her peers: She didn'treally care that her husband did the dishes after dinner. Sure, it was swell ofhim, and she had friends whose husbands did less. But what she really wanted, at that point in her day,was for her husband to volunteer to put the kids to bed. She would have been glad tosit in the kitchen on her own for a few minutes with the water running and hermind wandering. Another woman chimed in: 'Totally. The dishes don't talk backto you.'几年前，我在明尼苏达州观察一个育儿组织，有一位妈妈对其他妈妈们的一番坦言让我很有触动。她说她并不真正在乎她丈夫会在餐后洗碗。当然，她丈夫做的很不错，她有些朋友们的老公做的家务更少。但她真正想要的是，她丈夫能主动去哄孩子睡觉。这样她就能很怡然地独自在厨房坐几分钟，任思绪天马行空，水龙头流着水。另一位妈妈插话道，的确是，盘子可不会跟你顶嘴。

Accordingto the American Time Use Survey-which asks thousands of Americans annually to chronicle how they spendtheir days-men and women now work roughly the same number of hours a week(though men work more paid hours, and women more unpaid). Given this balanced ledger,one might guess that all would finally be quiet on the domestic front-thatwomen would finally havestopped wondering how they, rather than their husbands, got suckeredinto such a heavy load. But they haven't. The question is: Why?根据“美国人时间使用调查”（这个调查每年访问数千的美国人，记录他们如何利用自己的每天时间），如今男性和女性每周的工作时间大致相同，不过男性的酬薪更高，而女姓有更多无报酬的情况。这种时间帐的平衡下，人们也许认为男女方应该在家务方面不存在争论，----女性应该终于不再疑惑为什么是她们而不是丈夫被如此沉重的负担所纠缠。但她们的疑问并没有消除。这是为什么呢？

Partof the problem is that averages treat all data as if they're the same and thereforecombinable, which often results in a kind of absurdity. On average, humanbeings have half an Adam's apple, but no one thinks to lump men and women together this way.Similarly, we should not assume that men and women's working hours are the samein kind. The factis, men and women experience their time very differently.

问题的部分原因是我们求平均数时将所有数据视为同质，可以合并，而这常会导致荒谬的结果。比如平均而言，每个人有半个喉结，但没有人会这样合并男女；同理，我们不应该认为男性和女性的工作时间是同质的，事实是，男性和女性对时间的感知上不同的。

For starters, not all work is created equal. An hour spent on onekind of task is not necessarily the equivalent of an hour spent on another.Take child care, a task to which mothers devote far more hours than dads. Itcreates much more stress in women than other forms of housework. In 'AloneTogether' (2007), a comprehensive look at the state of American marriage, the authors found thatif women believe child care is unevenly divided in their homes, this imbalanceis much more likely to affect their marital happiness than a perceivedimbalance in, say, vacuuming.

首先，并非所有工作是“生就平等”的。花费一小时在一项工作上，未必等同于在另一件事上花的一小时。以照看小孩为例，妈妈们要比爸爸们投入的时间多很多。它比别的家务给女性造成更多的压力。2007年出版的“休戚与共” (AloneTogether)，作者发现，如果女性确信在其家庭中夫妻照看小孩的工作分配不平衡，这比其它家务比如吸尘工作所感受到的不平衡，要更可能影响她们的婚姻幸福感。这本书对美国人婚姻状态的进行了全面审视。

Or consider night duty. Sustained sleep deprivation, aswe know, consigns people to their own special league of misery. But it'sgenerally mothers, rather than fathers, who are halfway down the loonytown freeway to hysterical exhaustion, atleast in the early years of parenting. According to the American Time UseSurvey, women in dual-earner couples are three times more likely to reportinterrupted sleep if they have a child under the age of 1, and stay-at-homemothers are six times as likely to get up with their children as arestay-at-home fathers.或者想想夜晚的职责。我们都知道，持续性的睡眠缺乏会让人非常痛苦。但在育儿的开始几年，通常都是妈妈们，而非爸爸们，不断地睡到中途起床而疲劳至极。根据《美国人时间使用调查》，在双职工家庭，如果有不到1岁的小孩，女性中断睡眠起来照看小孩的机率是爸爸的3倍，而全职妈妈夜晚起床照看孩子的机率比全职爸爸多5倍。

Funny: I once sat on a panel with Adam Mansbach,the author of the best-selling parody 'Go the F- to Sleep.' At one point in thediscussion, he conceded that his partner put his child to bed most nights. Hemay have written a book about the tyranny of toddlers at bedtime, but in hishouse, it was mainly Mom's problem.一件有趣的事，一次我和Adam Mansbach参加同一个讨论会，他是畅销的诙谐作品《快去睡觉》的作者。在讨论中，他坦承在他家多数时候是他妻子哄小孩上床睡觉。他可能已经写了关于哄幼儿去睡觉的困难，但在他家，这主要是孩子妈妈在面对。

Complicatingmatters, mothers assume a disproportionatenumber of time-sensitivedomestic tasks, whether it's getting their toddlers dressed for school or their12-year-olds off to swim practice. Their daily routine is speckled with whatsociologists Annette Lareau and Elliot Weininger call 'pressure points, ' ornonnegotiable demands that make their lives, as the authors put it, 'morefrenetic.'让情况更复杂的是，妈妈们承担了更多的时间敏感型的家务，不论是给幼童穿衣上学还是带12岁的孩子去练游泳。她们的每天日程中布满了社会学家安妮特·拉罗(AnnetteLareau)和艾略特·魏因宁格(Elliot Weininger)所说的“压力点”，或是按两位作者所说的，这些毫无商量余地的要求，让她们的生活“更抓狂”。

These deadlines have unintended consequences. They forcewomen to search for wormholesin the time-space continuum simply to accomplish all the things that they needto do. In 2011, the sociologists Shira Offer and Barbara Schneiderfound that mothers spend, on average, 10 extra hours a week multitasking thando fathers 'and that these additional hours are mainly related to time spent onhousework and child care.'这些最后期限有很多意外的后果。这会迫使女性恨不得在连续性的时间-空间中寻求分身之术，以完成她们要做的所有事情。2011年社会学家hira Offer 的 Barbara Schneider发现，母亲平均比父亲每周多花10个小时来处理多重任务，这些额外的时间主要花在家务和育儿上。When fathers spend time at home, on the other hand, it reduces theirodds of multitasking byover 30%. Which may explain why, a few years ago, researchers from UCLAfound that a father in a room by himself was the 'person-space configurationobserved most frequently' in their close study of 32 families at home. It mayalso explain why many fathers manage to finish the Sunday paper while theirwives do not-they're not constantly getting up to refill bowls of Cheerios.另一方面，当父亲在家时，这会将他们处理多重任务的可能减少逾30%。这就解释了为什么数年前UCLA（加州洛杉机分校）的研究人员在近距离研究了32个家庭后发现，一个父亲独自呆在房间里是最常见的个人-空间格局。它也解释了为什么许多父亲可以看完星期天的报纸，而他们的妻子没法看完，因为父亲不需要不断起身往碗里加麦圈。

Beingcompelled to divide and subdivide your time doesn't just compromise yourproductivity and lead to garden-varietydiscombobulation. It also creates a feeling of urgency-a sense that no matterhow tranquil the moment, no matter how unpressured the circumstances, there'salways a pot somewhere that's about to boil over.把时间被迫一分再分不仅降低生产力，而且常常会让人头晕脑胀。同时会给人制造焦虑急迫感，这种焦虑让人处于无论多安静的时刻，无论事情多从容，还是觉得哪里像有一壶水沸腾开来。

'Myhusband says I cause some of the worry unnecessarily, ' another Minnesotamother, who was part of the same parenting program, told me when I spent sometime in her home.另一位参加这个育儿组织的妈妈，来自明尼苏达州，在我后来到她家拜访时她说，我丈夫说是我造成了一些不必要的担忧。

It'ssomething that I hear a lot from parents. One of them-usually the mother-ismore alive to theemotional undercurrents of the household. As a result, this more intuitive parent feelsthat the other parent-usually the father-is not doing his fair share, while thefather feels that his wife is excessively emotional and wretchedly inefficient. But what really maybe going on is that the couple is experiencing time differently, because eachperson is paying attention to different things.这是我经常听父母们说的一句话。父母中的一方，常常是母亲，会对家中的情绪暗流更为敏感。这致使直觉更敏锐的一方会对另一方，通常是父亲，感到对方没有尽到其职责，但父亲会感到他的妻子过于情绪化且做事效率太低。但真相可能是夫妻双方对时间的感知不同，因为两人关注的事情不同。