WhyMom's Time Is Different From Dad's Time为啥妈妈与爸爸的时间感不同
Severalyears ago, while observing a parentinggroup in Minnesota,I was struck by a confession one of the women made to her peers: She didn'treally care that her husband did the dishes after dinner. Sure, it was swell ofhim, and she had friends whose husbands did less. But what she really wanted, at that point in her day,was for her husband to volunteer to put the kids to bed. She would have been glad tosit in the kitchen on her own for a few minutes with the water running and hermind wandering. Another woman chimed in: 'Totally. The dishes don't talk backto you.'几年前，我在明尼苏达州观察一个育儿组织，有一位妈妈对其他妈妈们的一番坦言让我很有触动。她说她并不真正在乎她丈夫会在餐后洗碗。当然，她丈夫做的很不错，她有些朋友们的老公做的家务更少。但她真正想要的是，她丈夫能主动去哄孩子睡觉。这样她就能很怡然地独自在厨房坐几分钟，任思绪天马行空，水龙头流着水。另一位妈妈插话道，的确是，盘子可不会跟你顶嘴。
Accordingto the American Time Use Survey-which asks thousands of Americans annually to chronicle how they spendtheir days-men and women now work roughly the same number of hours a week(though men work more paid hours, and women more unpaid). Given this balanced ledger,one might guess that all would finally be quiet on the domestic front-thatwomen would finally havestopped wondering how they, rather than their husbands, got suckeredinto such a heavy load. But they haven't. The question is: Why?根据“美国人时间使用调查”（这个调查每年访问数千的美国人，记录他们如何利用自己的每天时间），如今男性和女性每周的工作时间大致相同，不过男性的酬薪更高，而女姓有更多无报酬的情况。这种时间帐的平衡下，人们也许认为男女方应该在家务方面不存在争论，----女性应该终于不再疑惑为什么是她们而不是丈夫被如此沉重的负担所纠缠。但她们的疑问并没有消除。这是为什么呢？
Partof the problem is that averages treat all data as if they're the same and thereforecombinable, which often results in a kind of absurdity. On average, humanbeings have half an Adam's apple, but no one thinks to lump men and women together this way.Similarly, we should not assume that men and women's working hours are the samein kind. The factis, men and women experience their time very differently.
For starters, not all work is created equal. An hour spent on onekind of task is not necessarily the equivalent of an hour spent on another.Take child care, a task to which mothers devote far more hours than dads. Itcreates much more stress in women than other forms of housework. In 'AloneTogether' (2007), a comprehensive look at the state of American marriage, the authors found thatif women believe child care is unevenly divided in their homes, this imbalanceis much more likely to affect their marital happiness than a perceivedimbalance in, say, vacuuming.
Or consider night duty. Sustained sleep deprivation, aswe know, consigns people to their own special league of misery. But it'sgenerally mothers, rather than fathers, who are halfway down the loonytown freeway to hysterical exhaustion, atleast in the early years of parenting. According to the American Time UseSurvey, women in dual-earner couples are three times more likely to reportinterrupted sleep if they have a child under the age of 1, and stay-at-homemothers are six times as likely to get up with their children as arestay-at-home fathers.或者想想夜晚的职责。我们都知道，持续性的睡眠缺乏会让人非常痛苦。但在育儿的开始几年，通常都是妈妈们，而非爸爸们，不断地睡到中途起床而疲劳至极。根据《美国人时间使用调查》，在双职工家庭，如果有不到1岁的小孩，女性中断睡眠起来照看小孩的机率是爸爸的3倍，而全职妈妈夜晚起床照看孩子的机率比全职爸爸多5倍。
Funny: I once sat on a panel with Adam Mansbach,the author of the best-selling parody 'Go the F- to Sleep.' At one point in thediscussion, he conceded that his partner put his child to bed most nights. Hemay have written a book about the tyranny of toddlers at bedtime, but in hishouse, it was mainly Mom's problem.一件有趣的事，一次我和Adam Mansbach参加同一个讨论会，他是畅销的诙谐作品《快去睡觉》的作者。在讨论中，他坦承在他家多数时候是他妻子哄小孩上床睡觉。他可能已经写了关于哄幼儿去睡觉的困难，但在他家，这主要是孩子妈妈在面对。
Complicatingmatters, mothers assume a disproportionatenumber of time-sensitivedomestic tasks, whether it's getting their toddlers dressed for school or their12-year-olds off to swim practice. Their daily routine is speckled with whatsociologists Annette Lareau and Elliot Weininger call 'pressure points, ' ornonnegotiable demands that make their lives, as the authors put it, 'morefrenetic.'让情况更复杂的是，妈妈们承担了更多的时间敏感型的家务，不论是给幼童穿衣上学还是带12岁的孩子去练游泳。她们的每天日程中布满了社会学家安妮特·拉罗(AnnetteLareau)和艾略特·魏因宁格(Elliot Weininger)所说的“压力点”，或是按两位作者所说的，这些毫无商量余地的要求，让她们的生活“更抓狂”。
These deadlines have unintended consequences. They forcewomen to search for wormholesin the time-space continuum simply to accomplish all the things that they needto do. In 2011, the sociologists Shira Offer and Barbara Schneiderfound that mothers spend, on average, 10 extra hours a week multitasking thando fathers 'and that these additional hours are mainly related to time spent onhousework and child care.'这些最后期限有很多意外的后果。这会迫使女性恨不得在连续性的时间-空间中寻求分身之术，以完成她们要做的所有事情。2011年社会学家hira Offer 的 Barbara Schneider发现，母亲平均比父亲每周多花10个小时来处理多重任务，这些额外的时间主要花在家务和育儿上。When fathers spend time at home, on the other hand, it reduces theirodds of multitasking byover 30%. Which may explain why, a few years ago, researchers from UCLAfound that a father in a room by himself was the 'person-space configurationobserved most frequently' in their close study of 32 families at home. It mayalso explain why many fathers manage to finish the Sunday paper while theirwives do not-they're not constantly getting up to refill bowls of Cheerios.另一方面，当父亲在家时，这会将他们处理多重任务的可能减少逾30%。这就解释了为什么数年前UCLA（加州洛杉机分校）的研究人员在近距离研究了32个家庭后发现，一个父亲独自呆在房间里是最常见的个人-空间格局。它也解释了为什么许多父亲可以看完星期天的报纸，而他们的妻子没法看完，因为父亲不需要不断起身往碗里加麦圈。
Beingcompelled to divide and subdivide your time doesn't just compromise yourproductivity and lead to garden-varietydiscombobulation. It also creates a feeling of urgency-a sense that no matterhow tranquil the moment, no matter how unpressured the circumstances, there'salways a pot somewhere that's about to boil over.把时间被迫一分再分不仅降低生产力，而且常常会让人头晕脑胀。同时会给人制造焦虑急迫感，这种焦虑让人处于无论多安静的时刻，无论事情多从容，还是觉得哪里像有一壶水沸腾开来。
'Myhusband says I cause some of the worry unnecessarily, ' another Minnesotamother, who was part of the same parenting program, told me when I spent sometime in her home.另一位参加这个育儿组织的妈妈，来自明尼苏达州，在我后来到她家拜访时她说，我丈夫说是我造成了一些不必要的担忧。
It'ssomething that I hear a lot from parents. One of them-usually the mother-ismore alive to theemotional undercurrents of the household. As a result, this more intuitive parent feelsthat the other parent-usually the father-is not doing his fair share, while thefather feels that his wife is excessively emotional and wretchedly inefficient. But what really maybe going on is that the couple is experiencing time differently, because eachperson is paying attention to different things.这是我经常听父母们说的一句话。父母中的一方，常常是母亲，会对家中的情绪暗流更为敏感。这致使直觉更敏锐的一方会对另一方，通常是父亲，感到对方没有尽到其职责，但父亲会感到他的妻子过于情绪化且做事效率太低。但真相可能是夫妻双方对时间的感知不同，因为两人关注的事情不同。
It'simportant to remember that fairness isn't just about absolute equality. It'sabout the perception of equality. Women may work fewer paid hours than men, butbecause they devote nearly twice as much time to family care (housework, childcare, shopping), it doesn't look to women like their husbands are sharing theload evenly when they're all home together. It looks instead like theirhusbands are watching 'SportsCenter.'要记住，公平并非只是绝对的平等，而是对感知的平等。女性可能比男性的有偿工作时间短，但这是因为女性以照顾家庭上付出了比男性约多一倍的时间，包括家务、照看小孩、采购，因此在女性看来，当双方都在家时，她们的丈夫并没有均等地分担家务。她们感觉丈夫总是在看体育新闻。
It'shard to overstatehow stressful these perceived imbalances can be. At one point, the UCLA researchers took saliva samples from mostof the subjects of their study to measure levels of cortisol, the stresshormone. They found that while leisure time went a long way toward relaxing fathers, it didfar less to subdue anxiety in mothers. So what, you may ask, did calm themothers?
TheLeader, the Prisoner and the Vacationer公司人的三种角色：领袖、囚犯和游客
When Irun workshops for corporations, after some warm-up exercises, I always turn tothe group and say “Would all the leaders in the room please raise their hands.I want to see who you are.” Most of the time, there is some nervous hesitation,faces swiveling around to see who might be raising their hands, a few giggles,uncertain looks, silence…and usually one or two hands will go slowly up in theair. I say “Great! Welcome to the program!” Then, to everyone else I ask “So,tell me, since you aren’t leaders, what are you?” Usually I get silence andmore uncertain facial expressions as a reply. Sometimes they will say thingslike “Well only started at this job one year ago.” Or: “I’m in a relativelyjunior position.” But these are not the kind of answers I am looking for.
Then Iask them: “Are you visible? Can others around you observe your actions and hearyour words? If you are visible, show me your hands.” Then, of course all thehands go up quickly. And I say “If you are visible, you are a leaders. Otherswill see what you do, listen to what you say and they are going to assume you know what youdoing. And they will copy your style. As a result, everyone is a Leader. It’sjust that some people don’t know they are leaders.”
The point of this little anecdote is this: in any organization,all the players are leaders. It’s just that some are leading consciously and othersare leading un-consciously---they aren’t aware that their actions and words andattitudes have impact on others. But the truth is: they do have impact, but itis often not of a kind that is helpful or positive. So this might be a goodtime to ask yourself: am I leading consciously or unconsciously?
At this point I share with people in the workshop the words of JackWelch, ex-CEO of General Electric, who says “In every team, every organization,every workshop there are three kinds of people: Leaders, Prisoners andVacationers. The key for managers is to retain the leaders and weed out theprisoners and vacationers.” Here I want to share with you the distinctions ofthese three types of people and let you decide where you want to spend yourtime on Earth.到这时我会与研讨会的参与者分享杰克 韦尔奇（通用前ECO）的一句话：“在任何组织、机构、研讨会，只有三类人：领导者，囚犯和游客。经理人的职责重点就是保留领导者，剔除囚犯和游客”。这里我想要与大家分享这三类人的区别，以供大家决定如何度过自己的一生。
Prisoners.These are people who feel ‘stuck’ in their lives and live as if the survivorsof a death march, the walking wounded, who would rather be doing somethingelse, somewhere else, but “because of circumstances” they don’t see otheroptions. Their mantrais “I have to be here, I have no choice.” They might as well hand-cuff themselves and walk around moaning.Prisoners complain the most, blame the most and do the least to make a positiveimpact on things that need to be fixed in their worlds. Sadly and ironically,many prisoners have stayingpower and even get promoted to senior positions just be playing politics well orstaying out of the spotlight. And, because they are visible, it is even sadderthat others will copy them and the system is soon replicated. Does this seem familiar to you? Doyou know people like this?囚犯：这类人他们感到自己的生活被困住了，他们活得像劫后的幸存者、拖着重伤在行走，他们更想呆在别处，做别的事情，只是“受环境所限”，他们没有别的选择。他们的口头禅是“我不得不在这，我别无选择”。他们可能真不如给自己铐上镣铐，四处呻吟。囚犯抱怨得最多、责怪得最多，却在给自己生活中需要处理好的事情上施加正面影响方面做得最少。可悲又讽刺的是，很多囚犯类人很有忍耐力，甚至靠耍手段或远离大家注意力而被提升到高级别的职位。但是因为别人能看到他们，所以更可悲的是别人会模仿他们，这样的体系很快就会得到复制。是不是听着很熟悉？你有认识这类人吗？
Vacationers.Vacationers are different from prisoners in many respects, however, their impact on anorganization over timeis quite similar. In essence, vacationers are just “here for the ride” and don’treally take their work very seriously. They also try to get the most forthemselves while doing the least for others. They know how to squeeze everypossible benefit out of the system for themselves and always seem to wantmore…for themselves. Their work is perfunctory and they show up as“floaters”---people who are actively disengaged. They excel at “looking good and not making mistakes”and they are the very last ones to take on additional responsibility. If theyweren’t visible, it would be so bad. The problem is, they are easily observedand so lots of people may copy them and their style of “sliding by.” Sovacationers, unfortunately are modeling another negative model of leadership.Yet in some organizations, vacationers can move up the ladder for a while.游客。游客在许多方面与囚犯不同。但是随着时间流逝他们对组织的影响与囚犯一样。本质上，游客是仅“在这里寻开心”，他们不会真正严肃地对待工作。他们也会努力为自己获取到最多，而为别人付出得最少。他们知道如何从体系中榨取每一点尽可能得到的好处，但似乎还总是想为自己要更多….他们的工作是敷衍应对的，人也很浮，主动地处于闲散，他们擅长于“做好表面文章，不犯错误”，并且他们总是最后一个去承担额外的任务。如果他们不被看到，情况还不那么糟糕。问题是，他们很显眼，所以很多人可能模仿他们以及他们的“滑溜”风格。所以游客，不幸地成为消极影响别人的领导。然而在某些公司，过客会在一段时间里得到升迁。
Leaders.Leaders are nothing like vacationers or prisoners. Leaders want to be here andthey are constantly scanning the radar for opportunities to make a difference.They focus on helping and guiding others instead of merely on what they can getfor themselves. They vacuumup responsibility because they enjoy seeing things happen in effectiveways and are always ready to take on more. The love the creativity of problemsolving and welcome the ideas of others. Leaders “go the extra mile” for their own objectives, forthe corporation’s objectives and in support of other’s objectives. They areoptimists who see the glass as half-full rather then half-empty. Leaders trustthemselves and their own worth, so they can easily make space to listen toothers, offer suggestions, lend a helping hand. They have nothing to prove aboutthemselves; ratherthey are visionarieswho ask “I wonder what WE could achieve if we really put our minds to it?” Leadersexude a positiveenergy that is attractive…and thus it is not surprise that lots of people willcopy them and replicate their positive style.领导.领导与游客和囚犯完全不同。领导想要呆在此处，而且他们不断地搜寻机会来作出改变。他们着眼于帮助和指导别人，而不是仅仅看重他们自己能获得什么。他们完成任务因为他们享受看到事情以有效的方式开展，并且他们永远准备着承担更多工作。他们热爱创造性地解决问题，并且欢迎别人的想法。领导会为他们自己的目标、为了公司的目标以及为了支持别人的目标而“多努力一点”。他们是那种看到水杯是“半满”而非“半空”状态的乐观者。领导相信自己以及自己的价值，所以他们很容易腾出空间来倾听别人，给出建议，伸出援手。他们不会为自己证明什么，相反，，他们有远见，会问“我想知道，如果我们真的花心思在这上面，会完成什么成果”。领导散发着正面的能量，而这是具有吸引力的，所以无怪许多人会效仿他们，重复他们的积极风格。
• And,in future, how can I show up every day as a fully-engaged Leader and make adifference for everyone I contact?
• Andwhat is it going to feel like when acting as a conscious leader becomes mynatural way of being, thinking and acting?所以现在你可以问你自己：
在过去，我什么时候做的像个囚犯？
什么时候表现得像过客？
那在以后，我如何能成为每天都全力以赴的领导，改变所有与我接触的人？
如果有意识的作领导成为我生活、思考和行动的自然状态，那会是什么感觉？
Youmay even consider making a stickerlike this and putting it at your work space where you can sit it every day:
•Prisoner?
•Vacationer?
•Leader?
你或许可以考虑做一个像这样的便签贴在你的工作桌上，每天可以看到：囚犯？过客？领导？
Just reflecting on these threebasic ways of being, inthe moment, can act as a powerful compass in your life. And, if you caught yourselfacting as a vacationer or prisoner, don’t worry. Just remember your stand to be a leader andstart again from that position. We aren’t here to be perfect. We are here tomake progress.现在，琢磨一下这三种生存状态，上，就可以在你的生活中扮演一个强有力的指南针。如果你发现自己表现得像一个过客或囚犯，别担心，只要记住你的立场是当一位领袖、并以这样的姿态重新开始。我们在这里并非展示完美，我们在这里是要取得进步。
Thereality is simple: most of our life is experienced through one of these threelenses. Try consciously seeing the world through “Leader Glasses” for 30 daysand I assure you, you will never want to view life as a Vacationer or Prisoneragain. All three are leadership styles, but only one is going to make adifference in the world. Which glasses will you choose?现实很简单，我们大部分的生活是透过这三副眼镜中的一副来经历的。试着认真用“领导的眼镜”观察这个世界30天，我保证你将再也不愿意以游客或囚犯来观察生活。三种都是领导模式，但只有一种将会给世界作出改变。你会选择哪种眼镜？
WindowsXP's retirement could put ATMs and more at riskWindowsXP退休可能危及银行ATM机安全
AfterApril 8th, 2014, Microsoft (MSFT) will end support, including automaticsecurity patches, for its 13-year-old Windows XP operating system. Thismay sound like an inconvenience primarily for government agencies and aginguncles, but another major set of Windows XP users are the automated tellermachines and credit card sales systems that handle billions of dollars oftransactions daily.微软将于2014年4月8日时终止支持其已有13年历史的Windows XP运行系统，并不再提供自动安全补丁。听上去这似乎主要会对政府机构以及上年龄的大叔造成不便，但另外一个XP的大用户是银行的ATM机和信用卡销售系统，每天要处理几十亿美元的交易。
Whilemajor retailers and banks arelikely to be well-prepared for the end of XP, financial systems based onthe software are also in the hands of afar-reaching hodgepodge of independent ATM operators and small businesses. Despite ample warning, industry analystsand insiders agree that high cost and inconvenience will keep plenty of thesesmaller players running outdated software for many months to come -- withserious implications for the security of their systems.大型零售商和银行有可能已为XP的停止服务做好了准备，但以微软为依托的金融系统还包括有大量独立的ATM运营商和小型金融机构。尽管空有警示，行业分析师和内幕人士认为，高额的成本和不便利将使很多小企业在未来几个月中继续使用过期的XP系统，而这将给他们的系统带来严重的隐患。
Jerry Nevins, co-owner of the Kansas Citycocktail bar Snow & Co., is close to the dilemma. Snow & Co. bought a point of sale system lessthan a year ago from the payments servicer Micros -- only to be told within a few months of the need for anupgrade to Windows 7, at a cost of $1,700 for the single-store system. Luckily,Snow & Co. was still under a
serviceagreement, so its upgrade was free. But as Nevins puts it, "If you're asmall business, an unexpected $1,700 might be like, eh, I'll go ahead and take my chances."Moreover, Nevins describes a "huge line" of Micros customers waitingfor an upgrade. He's crossing his fingers that Snow & Co. will be upgradedbefore the April 8 deadline.
Coststo retail credit card processors will vary widely, says JohnBerkeleyof Mercury Payment Systems. "If you have the right hardware you can justupgrade the OS, but for some merchants upgrading from XP to Windows 7 can meanall new hardware," likely costing much more than that $1,700.水星支付系统的John Berkeley称，零售信用卡处理机的价格相差很大，“如果你有合适的硬件就能直接升级操作系统，但对有些商家而言，从XP换为Windows7 意味着要更换所有的硬件”，可能花费远超1700美元。
Thechallenges of upgrading become even bigger in the case of ATMs. ATMmanufacturers are offering software upgrades for machines still based on XP --though some of those have been available for less than a month. But the cost toupgrade can be staggering. ATM机升级的困难远大于此。ATM机制造商为依托于XP系统的机器提供软件升级，有些厂商开始还不到1个月。而升级所需的花费也将极为惊人。
她理财 App
Severalyears ago, while observing a parentinggroup in Minnesota,I was struck by a confession one of the women made to her peers: She didn'treally care that her husband did the dishes after dinner. Sure, it was swell ofhim, and she had friends whose husbands did less. But what she really wanted, at that point in her day,was for her husband to volunteer to put the kids to bed. She would have been glad tosit in the kitchen on her own for a few minutes with the water running and hermind wandering. Another woman chimed in: 'Totally. The dishes don't talk backto you.'几年前，我在明尼苏达州观察一个育儿组织，有一位妈妈对其他妈妈们的一番坦言让我很有触动。她说她并不真正在乎她丈夫会在餐后洗碗。当然，她丈夫做的很不错，她有些朋友们的老公做的家务更少。但她真正想要的是，她丈夫能主动去哄孩子睡觉。这样她就能很怡然地独自在厨房坐几分钟，任思绪天马行空，水龙头流着水。另一位妈妈插话道，的确是，盘子可不会跟你顶嘴。
Accordingto the American Time Use Survey-which asks thousands of Americans annually to chronicle how they spendtheir days-men and women now work roughly the same number of hours a week(though men work more paid hours, and women more unpaid). Given this balanced ledger,one might guess that all would finally be quiet on the domestic front-thatwomen would finally havestopped wondering how they, rather than their husbands, got suckeredinto such a heavy load. But they haven't. The question is: Why?根据“美国人时间使用调查”（这个调查每年访问数千的美国人，记录他们如何利用自己的每天时间），如今男性和女性每周的工作时间大致相同，不过男性的酬薪更高，而女姓有更多无报酬的情况。这种时间帐的平衡下，人们也许认为男女方应该在家务方面不存在争论，----女性应该终于不再疑惑为什么是她们而不是丈夫被如此沉重的负担所纠缠。但她们的疑问并没有消除。这是为什么呢？
Partof the problem is that averages treat all data as if they're the same and thereforecombinable, which often results in a kind of absurdity. On average, humanbeings have half an Adam's apple, but no one thinks to lump men and women together this way.Similarly, we should not assume that men and women's working hours are the samein kind. The factis, men and women experience their time very differently.
问题的部分原因是我们求平均数时将所有数据视为同质，可以合并，而这常会导致荒谬的结果。比如平均而言，每个人有半个喉结，但没有人会这样合并男女；同理，我们不应该认为男性和女性的工作时间是同质的，事实是，男性和女性对时间的感知上不同的。
For starters, not all work is created equal. An hour spent on onekind of task is not necessarily the equivalent of an hour spent on another.Take child care, a task to which mothers devote far more hours than dads. Itcreates much more stress in women than other forms of housework. In 'AloneTogether' (2007), a comprehensive look at the state of American marriage, the authors found thatif women believe child care is unevenly divided in their homes, this imbalanceis much more likely to affect their marital happiness than a perceivedimbalance in, say, vacuuming.
首先，并非所有工作是“生就平等”的。花费一小时在一项工作上，未必等同于在另一件事上花的一小时。以照看小孩为例，妈妈们要比爸爸们投入的时间多很多。它比别的家务给女性造成更多的压力。2007年出版的“休戚与共” (AloneTogether)，作者发现，如果女性确信在其家庭中夫妻照看小孩的工作分配不平衡，这比其它家务比如吸尘工作所感受到的不平衡，要更可能影响她们的婚姻幸福感。这本书对美国人婚姻状态的进行了全面审视。
Or consider night duty. Sustained sleep deprivation, aswe know, consigns people to their own special league of misery. But it'sgenerally mothers, rather than fathers, who are halfway down the loonytown freeway to hysterical exhaustion, atleast in the early years of parenting. According to the American Time UseSurvey, women in dual-earner couples are three times more likely to reportinterrupted sleep if they have a child under the age of 1, and stay-at-homemothers are six times as likely to get up with their children as arestay-at-home fathers.或者想想夜晚的职责。我们都知道，持续性的睡眠缺乏会让人非常痛苦。但在育儿的开始几年，通常都是妈妈们，而非爸爸们，不断地睡到中途起床而疲劳至极。根据《美国人时间使用调查》，在双职工家庭，如果有不到1岁的小孩，女性中断睡眠起来照看小孩的机率是爸爸的3倍，而全职妈妈夜晚起床照看孩子的机率比全职爸爸多5倍。
Funny: I once sat on a panel with Adam Mansbach,the author of the best-selling parody 'Go the F- to Sleep.' At one point in thediscussion, he conceded that his partner put his child to bed most nights. Hemay have written a book about the tyranny of toddlers at bedtime, but in hishouse, it was mainly Mom's problem.一件有趣的事，一次我和Adam Mansbach参加同一个讨论会，他是畅销的诙谐作品《快去睡觉》的作者。在讨论中，他坦承在他家多数时候是他妻子哄小孩上床睡觉。他可能已经写了关于哄幼儿去睡觉的困难，但在他家，这主要是孩子妈妈在面对。
Complicatingmatters, mothers assume a disproportionatenumber of time-sensitivedomestic tasks, whether it's getting their toddlers dressed for school or their12-year-olds off to swim practice. Their daily routine is speckled with whatsociologists Annette Lareau and Elliot Weininger call 'pressure points, ' ornonnegotiable demands that make their lives, as the authors put it, 'morefrenetic.'让情况更复杂的是，妈妈们承担了更多的时间敏感型的家务，不论是给幼童穿衣上学还是带12岁的孩子去练游泳。她们的每天日程中布满了社会学家安妮特·拉罗(AnnetteLareau)和艾略特·魏因宁格(Elliot Weininger)所说的“压力点”，或是按两位作者所说的，这些毫无商量余地的要求，让她们的生活“更抓狂”。
Beingcompelled to divide and subdivide your time doesn't just compromise yourproductivity and lead to garden-varietydiscombobulation. It also creates a feeling of urgency-a sense that no matterhow tranquil the moment, no matter how unpressured the circumstances, there'salways a pot somewhere that's about to boil over.把时间被迫一分再分不仅降低生产力，而且常常会让人头晕脑胀。同时会给人制造焦虑急迫感，这种焦虑让人处于无论多安静的时刻，无论事情多从容，还是觉得哪里像有一壶水沸腾开来。
'Myhusband says I cause some of the worry unnecessarily, ' another Minnesotamother, who was part of the same parenting program, told me when I spent sometime in her home.另一位参加这个育儿组织的妈妈，来自明尼苏达州，在我后来到她家拜访时她说，我丈夫说是我造成了一些不必要的担忧。
It'ssomething that I hear a lot from parents. One of them-usually the mother-ismore alive to theemotional undercurrents of the household. As a result, this more intuitive parent feelsthat the other parent-usually the father-is not doing his fair share, while thefather feels that his wife is excessively emotional and wretchedly inefficient. But what really maybe going on is that the couple is experiencing time differently, because eachperson is paying attention to different things.这是我经常听父母们说的一句话。父母中的一方，常常是母亲，会对家中的情绪暗流更为敏感。这致使直觉更敏锐的一方会对另一方，通常是父亲，感到对方没有尽到其职责，但父亲会感到他的妻子过于情绪化且做事效率太低。但真相可能是夫妻双方对时间的感知不同，因为两人关注的事情不同。
It'shard to overstatehow stressful these perceived imbalances can be. At one point, the UCLA researchers took saliva samples from mostof the subjects of their study to measure levels of cortisol, the stresshormone. They found that while leisure time went a long way toward relaxing fathers, it didfar less to subdue anxiety in mothers. So what, you may ask, did calm themothers?
这些可感知的不平衡带来的压力之大怎么形容都不过分。UCLA的研究人员一度从他们多数的研究对象处取了唾液样本，以测量皮质醇（人体内的压力荷尔蒙）的浓度。研究发现，休闲时间会对父亲们的放松有极大帮助，相比之下，对减轻母亲们的焦虑作用不大。你也许会问，那什么可以使母亲们平静下来呢
Simple:Seeing their husbands make a bigger effort to reduce the pandemonium in thehouse.
很简单：就是看到她们的丈夫们作出更多努力以减轻家里的混乱。
When Irun workshops for corporations, after some warm-up exercises, I always turn tothe group and say “Would all the leaders in the room please raise their hands.I want to see who you are.” Most of the time, there is some nervous hesitation,faces swiveling around to see who might be raising their hands, a few giggles,uncertain looks, silence…and usually one or two hands will go slowly up in theair. I say “Great! Welcome to the program!” Then, to everyone else I ask “So,tell me, since you aren’t leaders, what are you?” Usually I get silence andmore uncertain facial expressions as a reply. Sometimes they will say thingslike “Well only started at this job one year ago.” Or: “I’m in a relativelyjunior position.” But these are not the kind of answers I am looking for.
当我为公司组织研讨会时，每次在热身练习后我总会面向着大家说，“请在座的领导的都举起手来，我想看看都是谁”。大多数情况下，他们会有一些紧张犹豫，转着头四处看都有谁会举起手，还有一些人会轻笑，还有就是不确定的表情和沉默……然后常常是一到两个人慢慢地举起了手。我会说“太棒了！欢迎参加这次研讨会”然后我问其他人，“那么，告诉我，既然你们不是领导者，那你们是什么？”对我的答复通常会是沉默，还有更多不确定的表情。有时他们会说些诸如“一年前刚开始做眼前的工作”或“我的职位较低”但这些都不是我想听的答案。
Then Iask them: “Are you visible? Can others around you observe your actions and hearyour words? If you are visible, show me your hands.” Then, of course all thehands go up quickly. And I say “If you are visible, you are a leaders. Otherswill see what you do, listen to what you say and they are going to assume you know what youdoing. And they will copy your style. As a result, everyone is a Leader. It’sjust that some people don’t know they are leaders.”
然后我问他们“你们可以被人看见吗？你周围的人能看到你的行动、听到你的话语吗？如果你能被看见，请举起手”。然后当然是所有的手都迅速地举了起来。这时我说，“如果你是可见的，你就是一名领导者。别人会看到你做了什么，听到你说什么，然后他们会认为你知道你在做什么，他们将会模仿你的风格。因此，每个人都是一名领导者。只是有些人并不知道他们自己也是领导。”
The point of this little anecdote is this: in any organization,all the players are leaders. It’s just that some are leading consciously and othersare leading un-consciously---they aren’t aware that their actions and words andattitudes have impact on others. But the truth is: they do have impact, but itis often not of a kind that is helpful or positive. So this might be a goodtime to ask yourself: am I leading consciously or unconsciously?
这个小插曲的主旨是：在任何组织中，所有的参与者都是领导。只是有一些人是有意识地当领导，其他人则没有意识到----他们并不知晓他们的行为、语言和态度对其他人产生了影响。事实是，他们也有影响力，不过这种影响力不是有用的或正面的形式。所以这也许也正好问下你自己：我是有意识还是无意识地在做领导者？
At this point I share with people in the workshop the words of JackWelch, ex-CEO of General Electric, who says “In every team, every organization,every workshop there are three kinds of people: Leaders, Prisoners andVacationers. The key for managers is to retain the leaders and weed out theprisoners and vacationers.” Here I want to share with you the distinctions ofthese three types of people and let you decide where you want to spend yourtime on Earth.到这时我会与研讨会的参与者分享杰克 韦尔奇（通用前ECO）的一句话：“在任何组织、机构、研讨会，只有三类人：领导者，囚犯和游客。经理人的职责重点就是保留领导者，剔除囚犯和游客”。这里我想要与大家分享这三类人的区别，以供大家决定如何度过自己的一生。
Prisoners.These are people who feel ‘stuck’ in their lives and live as if the survivorsof a death march, the walking wounded, who would rather be doing somethingelse, somewhere else, but “because of circumstances” they don’t see otheroptions. Their mantrais “I have to be here, I have no choice.” They might as well hand-cuff themselves and walk around moaning.Prisoners complain the most, blame the most and do the least to make a positiveimpact on things that need to be fixed in their worlds. Sadly and ironically,many prisoners have stayingpower and even get promoted to senior positions just be playing politics well orstaying out of the spotlight. And, because they are visible, it is even sadderthat others will copy them and the system is soon replicated. Does this seem familiar to you? Doyou know people like this?囚犯：这类人他们感到自己的生活被困住了，他们活得像劫后的幸存者、拖着重伤在行走，他们更想呆在别处，做别的事情，只是“受环境所限”，他们没有别的选择。他们的口头禅是“我不得不在这，我别无选择”。他们可能真不如给自己铐上镣铐，四处呻吟。囚犯抱怨得最多、责怪得最多，却在给自己生活中需要处理好的事情上施加正面影响方面做得最少。可悲又讽刺的是，很多囚犯类人很有忍耐力，甚至靠耍手段或远离大家注意力而被提升到高级别的职位。但是因为别人能看到他们，所以更可悲的是别人会模仿他们，这样的体系很快就会得到复制。是不是听着很熟悉？你有认识这类人吗？
Leaders.Leaders are nothing like vacationers or prisoners. Leaders want to be here andthey are constantly scanning the radar for opportunities to make a difference.They focus on helping and guiding others instead of merely on what they can getfor themselves. They vacuumup responsibility because they enjoy seeing things happen in effectiveways and are always ready to take on more. The love the creativity of problemsolving and welcome the ideas of others. Leaders “go the extra mile” for their own objectives, forthe corporation’s objectives and in support of other’s objectives. They areoptimists who see the glass as half-full rather then half-empty. Leaders trustthemselves and their own worth, so they can easily make space to listen toothers, offer suggestions, lend a helping hand. They have nothing to prove aboutthemselves; ratherthey are visionarieswho ask “I wonder what WE could achieve if we really put our minds to it?” Leadersexude a positiveenergy that is attractive…and thus it is not surprise that lots of people willcopy them and replicate their positive style.领导.领导与游客和囚犯完全不同。领导想要呆在此处，而且他们不断地搜寻机会来作出改变。他们着眼于帮助和指导别人，而不是仅仅看重他们自己能获得什么。他们完成任务因为他们享受看到事情以有效的方式开展，并且他们永远准备着承担更多工作。他们热爱创造性地解决问题，并且欢迎别人的想法。领导会为他们自己的目标、为了公司的目标以及为了支持别人的目标而“多努力一点”。他们是那种看到水杯是“半满”而非“半空”状态的乐观者。领导相信自己以及自己的价值，所以他们很容易腾出空间来倾听别人，给出建议，伸出援手。他们不会为自己证明什么，相反，，他们有远见，会问“我想知道，如果我们真的花心思在这上面，会完成什么成果”。领导散发着正面的能量，而这是具有吸引力的，所以无怪许多人会效仿他们，重复他们的积极风格。
So youcould ask yourself now:
• Inthe past, when have I behaved as a Prisoner?
• Andwhen have I behaved as a Vacationer?
• And,in future, how can I show up every day as a fully-engaged Leader and make adifference for everyone I contact?
• Andwhat is it going to feel like when acting as a conscious leader becomes mynatural way of being, thinking and acting?所以现在你可以问你自己：
在过去，我什么时候做的像个囚犯？
什么时候表现得像过客？
那在以后，我如何能成为每天都全力以赴的领导，改变所有与我接触的人？
如果有意识的作领导成为我生活、思考和行动的自然状态，那会是什么感觉？
Youmay even consider making a stickerlike this and putting it at your work space where you can sit it every day:
•Prisoner?
•Vacationer?
•Leader?
你或许可以考虑做一个像这样的便签贴在你的工作桌上，每天可以看到：囚犯？过客？领导？
Just reflecting on these threebasic ways of being, inthe moment, can act as a powerful compass in your life. And, if you caught yourselfacting as a vacationer or prisoner, don’t worry. Just remember your stand to be a leader andstart again from that position. We aren’t here to be perfect. We are here tomake progress.现在，琢磨一下这三种生存状态，上，就可以在你的生活中扮演一个强有力的指南针。如果你发现自己表现得像一个过客或囚犯，别担心，只要记住你的立场是当一位领袖、并以这样的姿态重新开始。我们在这里并非展示完美，我们在这里是要取得进步。
Thereality is simple: most of our life is experienced through one of these threelenses. Try consciously seeing the world through “Leader Glasses” for 30 daysand I assure you, you will never want to view life as a Vacationer or Prisoneragain. All three are leadership styles, but only one is going to make adifference in the world. Which glasses will you choose?现实很简单，我们大部分的生活是透过这三副眼镜中的一副来经历的。试着认真用“领导的眼镜”观察这个世界30天，我保证你将再也不愿意以游客或囚犯来观察生活。三种都是领导模式，但只有一种将会给世界作出改变。你会选择哪种眼镜？
AfterApril 8th, 2014, Microsoft (MSFT) will end support, including automaticsecurity patches, for its 13-year-old Windows XP operating system. Thismay sound like an inconvenience primarily for government agencies and aginguncles, but another major set of Windows XP users are the automated tellermachines and credit card sales systems that handle billions of dollars oftransactions daily.微软将于2014年4月8日时终止支持其已有13年历史的Windows XP运行系统，并不再提供自动安全补丁。听上去这似乎主要会对政府机构以及上年龄的大叔造成不便，但另外一个XP的大用户是银行的ATM机和信用卡销售系统，每天要处理几十亿美元的交易。
Whilemajor retailers and banks arelikely to be well-prepared for the end of XP, financial systems based onthe software are also in the hands of afar-reaching hodgepodge of independent ATM operators and small businesses. Despite ample warning, industry analystsand insiders agree that high cost and inconvenience will keep plenty of thesesmaller players running outdated software for many months to come -- withserious implications for the security of their systems.大型零售商和银行有可能已为XP的停止服务做好了准备，但以微软为依托的金融系统还包括有大量独立的ATM运营商和小型金融机构。尽管空有警示，行业分析师和内幕人士认为，高额的成本和不便利将使很多小企业在未来几个月中继续使用过期的XP系统，而这将给他们的系统带来严重的隐患。
Jerry Nevins, co-owner of the Kansas Citycocktail bar Snow & Co., is close to the dilemma. Snow & Co. bought a point of sale system lessthan a year ago from the payments servicer Micros -- only to be told within a few months of the need for anupgrade to Windows 7, at a cost of $1,700 for the single-store system. Luckily,Snow & Co. was still under a
serviceagreement, so its upgrade was free. But as Nevins puts it, "If you're asmall business, an unexpected $1,700 might be like, eh, I'll go ahead and take my chances."Moreover, Nevins describes a "huge line" of Micros customers waitingfor an upgrade. He's crossing his fingers that Snow & Co. will be upgradedbefore the April 8 deadline.
Jerry Nevins是堪萨斯州城一家叫Snow &Co的鸡尾酒吧 的合伙人，他的公司面临这个两难局面。Snow & Co公司从支付服务商Micros买了销售点资讯管理系统还不到一年，不料才用几个月就被告知需要升级到Windows7，花费是单店1700美元。幸运的是，Snow & Co仍在服务期，所以升级免费。但正像Nevins说的，“要是你是家小企业，这意想不到的1700美元会让你想，我就碰碰运气，凑合继续用着吧”另外，Nevins 形容现在等待升级的Micros 的顾客排了老长的队，他祈祷Snow & Co能够赶在4月8日最后期限前完成升级。
Coststo retail credit card processors will vary widely, says JohnBerkeleyof Mercury Payment Systems. "If you have the right hardware you can justupgrade the OS, but for some merchants upgrading from XP to Windows 7 can meanall new hardware," likely costing much more than that $1,700.水星支付系统的John Berkeley称，零售信用卡处理机的价格相差很大，“如果你有合适的硬件就能直接升级操作系统，但对有些商家而言，从XP换为Windows7 意味着要更换所有的硬件”，可能花费远超1700美元。
Thechallenges of upgrading become even bigger in the case of ATMs. ATMmanufacturers are offering software upgrades for machines still based on XP --though some of those have been available for less than a month. But the cost toupgrade can be staggering. ATM机升级的困难远大于此。ATM机制造商为依托于XP系统的机器提供软件升级，有些厂商开始还不到1个月。而升级所需的花费也将极为惊人。
今天作了一小段日语翻译，作为今天的功课吧